Of course, I’d be a terrible boyfriend if I didn’t return the favor, which is why I just smiled when she asked if I wanted to watch the series premiere of the CW’s Hellcats with her.
“Couldn’t we just make out instead?” I asked.
“Don’t make me laugh, Logan.  Now put your pants back on.  The show’s starting.”
“Okay,” I sighed.  “But the pants are staying off, thank you very much.”

Six people with a combined total of three complete shirts.

Taking place in a post-apocalyptic future where the male population is hunted to extinction, Hellcats tells the story of- no, wait.  That’s not right.  Hellcats is about college cheerleading.  Aly Michalka (who my girlfriend tells me is from some Disney Channel show) and Ashley Tisdale (who I recognize as the girl from Disney’s High School Musical series, but with a different nose) star as two polar opposite cheerleaders who have to team up if they want to beat a rival college and save their college cheerleading program.  Aly’s Marti is a tomboy (hence the name “Marti”) who likes to do things her way, while Ashley’s Savannah is a stuck-up brat (hence the name “Savannah”) who likes to keep it by the books.  Can’t we all just get along?

HELLCATS! (in color)

Yes, it’s all very Bring It On, but for what it’s worth, the show knows that.  There’s even a rather clever training montage where Marti buys a copy of Bring It On and learns to cheer from watching it.  Sure, she is a bit too quick to fall for all of this cheerleading stuff (the episode opens with her verbally bashing the cheerleading squad and ends with her joining it), but I’m glad they didn’t waste my time over a series of episodes when we all knew the direction it was headed.

Meanwhile, Ashley Tisdale has the annoying, perky girl routine down pat.  Say what you want about her, but she knows how to play just the right amount of mean so that you still like her in a certain way.  Obviously, the fact that both of these gals are Disney kids helps, as they already know how to shake their combined bootys (booti?) when the show calls for it, which it does quite a bit.  I counted a total of three montages in 45 minutes, which may have been slightly unnecessary, but this is a show about cheerleaders after all.

In the end, it’s hard to come down on Hellcats.  Granted, I’m not the target audience for the show (it also doesn’t help that I’m hetrosexual), but it does just enough to make you want to keep watching, which is all I can ask from a CW show.  It hits it’s marks and even manages to land a few bases,  basket tosses, and cradle catches as well. 

That’s…um…cheerleading terminology, folks.

Not gay.

Hellcats Pilot Episode 
Rating: 6 out of 10 stars 6 out of 10

First up, James Cameron thinks he owns the concept of 3D and takes it upon himself to call out Piranha 3D as “exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D.”  This prompts Piranha producer Mark Canton to point out that not everyone can ”take ten years using other people’s money to make and market a film.”  All I can say is that there was ritual mating in both movies and the fish film did it right.

Shamelessly stolen from cbsnews.com

Elsewhere, I Watch Stuff reports that CBS reports that 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair report that nobody gives a crap how evil Mel Gibson is.  76% of those polled said that the scandal would have no effect on their likelihood of seeing a new Mel Gibson movie. If America can separate Gibson the man from Gibson the actor, I suppose I can start going back to my favorite Starbucks, despite that one barista’s outspoken views on abortion.

Here’s Doctor Who favorite David Tennant from the upcoming remake of Fright Night.  I’ve never seen the original, but you can pretty much take any beloved genre actor and cast them as a magician and I’ll see that movie.  Just ask The Prestige.

Speaking of awe-inspiring images, Juan Pablo Bravo made a HUGE size-comparison chart of just about any Hanna-Barbera character you can think of, 600 in all.  Click the tiny sample below for the full shebang.

Almost as cool as knowing the exact relative heights of the Hair Bear Bunch, is Conan O’Brien announcing the name of his new TBS show.  It’s a good thing he’s getting back to work.  With that beard, he looks like he’d be on the streets with a beaver puppet, leaving angry voicemails for Oksana Grigorieva if he didn’t have something to keep him busy.

And finally, let’s usher in the holiday weekend with everybody’s favorite weekend activity.  DANCE PARTY!

Happy Labor Day, folks.

But wait!  It was no where near as bad as it sounds.  I actually rather liked it…or perhaps I was just really in need of a Community fix until the new season starts.  See for yourself:

And as not to load this post down with with videos, here’s the links to part two and three on YouTube.  New season starts September 23rd!

Remember Norm Macdonald?  He’s that guy who got fired from SNL for being funny, made two very awesome but unsuccessful films, then somehow ended up starring in his own sitcom on ABC.  Only in America, kids.

Although I haven’t seen it since it originally aired, The Norm Show (later renamed Norm), was must-see-TV for high school Logan.  The reason it worked was, quite simply, because it didn’t work.  Norm Macdonald was always the first person to point out that he couldn’t act.  He was also one of the most uncreative comedians around, often labeling things exactly how they looked (hence “Wiener Dog” as the name of his wiener dog).  Norm Macdonald had no business being on primetime, network television…but this is what made the show so awesome.

Shout! Factory, which I seriously cannot stop saying amazing things about, recently announced plans to release the complete Norm Show on DVD, which I find both exciting and scary.  Exciting because I remember loving this show and scary because I’m secretly afraid it’s not going to hold up.  But then again, there’s this clip, which alone is worth at least half of the $45 Amazon pre-order price.

Anybody else remember this show?  Thoughts?

I enjoy Mad Men, but it’s frustratingly disorganized in its storytelling.  It doesn’t really have story arcs, so much as vague themes.  Characters may get tons of screen time for several episodes, only to disappear completely without warning.  Whatever happened to Joan’s closeted lesbian roommate?  Are we ever going to see Sal again?  And where the hell has Betty Draper been this season?  Until recently, I thought Glen Bishop had evaporated as well.  But before we discuss the present, let’s take a look back to when we first met the little scamp:

Glen is the young son of Helen Bishop, a divorced single mother who lives in the Draper’s neighborhood.  When Helen’s babysitter falls through, she guilts Betty into watching Glen for the evening.  While Betty is using the bathroom, Glen walks in on her (quite on purpose) and proceeds to stare at her until she’s able to get the door closed.  Betty confronts him about it.  He cries and apologizes.  So far, Glen’s kinda weird.  But, hey, he’s a lonely, sexually curious nine-year-old.  Give him a break.

Then he asks for a lock of Betty’s hair.  So, ya know…we’re getting into creepy town now.  He tells her that he wants it because she’s like a princess.  Of course, because Betty Draper is pretty unhinged herself, she ends up giving it to him.  It’s a neat scene because not only do you get to watch this really messed up little kid, you also realize how lonely Betty herself must be to oblige him.

Glen disappears for a bit after that, then shows up again when his mother finds the lock of hair and tells Betty to keep away from her son.  Later, the two meet by chance in a parking lot where Betty breaks down and admits how isolated she is, causing Glen to tenderly (and SUPER creepily) comfort her by saying that he wishes he were older.

Eventually, he runs away from home and hides in the Draper’s doghouse, explaining to Betty that he’s come to rescue her, and that the two can run away together.  It’s clear now, even to Betty, that this kid is damaged.  She calls his mom.  He views it as the ultimate betrayal, and tells Betty he hates her.  So ends their affair.  Glen fades into the ether, never to be seen or mentioned again.

Until now!  Oh yes, friends.  This season opened with the Draper kids (now the Francis kids after Betty’s divorce) bumping into Glen while Christmas tree shopping.  But this time he’s only got stalker-eyes for young Sally.  In a way this is a step up, since she’s actually his age.  In another way, it’s kind of like a psycho ex-lover showing up to menace the family of the one who spurned him.

And we’re in luck, Glen fans.  Our boy has discovered exciting new ways to be unnerving.  Every scene he’s in explodes with awkwardness!  He shows Sally his menacing pocket knife, chats about divorce in a detached monotone,  calls her up in the middle of the night, and–in his Glenniest move yet–breaks into the Francis home and wrecks the shit out of it,  leaving only Sally’s room intact.

And then…nothing again.  He’s been absent for the last three episodes.  C’mon, Mad Men, what’s up with this kid?  Is he using Sally as a creepy surrogate for her mom?  Is he a serial killer in the making?  Is he going to have a seen with Don where the two hash things out over scotch?  What is Glen’s deal!

To make matters weirder, Glen is played by Martin Weiner, son of the show’s creator, who presumably looked at his son one day and said “This kid is so quietly shudder-inducing, America will be helpless to look away!”  Maybe that at least means he won’t be forgotten like all those other great side characters.

Either way, you guys can count on me to keep you updated on the creepy exploits of Glen Bishop from here on out.  Unless those exploits involve him appearing outside my bedroom window with his father’s hunting rifle.  By the time I learn of that exploit, it will be far too late for me.

Thanks to the Mad Men Wiki for jogging my memory.  Also check AMC’s blog for an interview with the surprisingly well-adjusted Marten Weiner.

Little known fact: Before they hit the big time with CriticalEnd.com, Logan Lee and Ryan DiGiorgi served as presidents of the Boy Meets World fan club at their high school.  Sure, the hours were long, the pay meager, and the nights dateless, but they had a dream: To spread their love of the TGIF show to the masses by acting out a full episode every Friday during lunch hour.  Many love it, but most just thought they were gay.

A decade after it left the air, Boy Meets World is still one of the few shows not to see a full release on DVD.  A few years back, Disney, who then owned the rights under ABC, released seasons 1 to 3 to mostly lackluster sales.  Season 4 (the first season where the show really became aware of itself, thus funnier) was given a street date and even box art, but then dropped shortly after.  Disney finally realized that they could make more money by selling the show to another company.

And so Lionsgate ended up owning the complete Boy Meets World catalog.  Yes, we’re talking about the same Lionsgate that built it’s empire around the Saw films.  For a while nothing happened, but then a few months ago Lionsgate announced a re-release of seasons 1 to 3 (long out of print), and just a few days ago posted on Twitter a possible release date for the long awaited season 4.  Let’s hope they get around to the rest soon.

So what does all of this mean to you?  Nothing unless you’re a big fan of the show, or one of those people who won’t be happy until everything is on DVD or Blu-Ray.  Or you’re gay.  I’m just a fan, that’s all.  Swear. 

*shifty eyes*

There is a distinct possibility that I may have this framed above my bed.

[Via MovieWeb]

MovieWeb is reporting that we’re going to get outtakes, longer, uncut episodes, AND cast and crew commentary on every episode.  That alone should be worth the 35 buck pre-order price on Amazon.

In the meantime, I’m very happy to report that after two lackluster episodes, the new season of Futurama is finally hitting its stride.  The last three have all been worthy of the show’s original run.  If you’re not watching, you should be. Check the clip below for a taste.

And while you’re at it, why not keep September 21st free as well?  That’s the date Community season 1 hits DVD. 

Oh, and since you’re looking at your calender anyway, why not keep October 22nd free too?  That’s my birthday.

via HitFix

Now hold on a minute before you hit submit on that “Logan Sux!” comment.  I love Betty White just as much as everybody else does…but just like your real grandmother, it doesn’t matter how much you may love her, you still don’t want her around all the time. 

Yet, within the last year it’s become near impossible to do anything without seeing Betty White.  She’s in commercials, on TV shows, in more movies a month than Samuel L. Jackson, and yesterday I opened the local paper only to discover that she’s coming to my town.  I kid you not. 

And this morning I came across even more Betty news: The Hollywood Reporter is, um, Hollywood Reporting that Betty is all set to play a wacky anthropology professor in the season two premiere of Community.  Now there’s some Betty White news I can get behind…assuming that her and Chevy get into some sort of old people fight.

Oh yeah, and a recent CHUD article (brilliantly titled “Enough with Betty White Already”) is claiming that White may be the front-runner for the George Burns role in the remake of Oh God!  Okay, I admit that I’d see that as well.

But as for the forty million other films/shows/commercials/video games/hip hop albums that Betty White has planned for this year?  Pass.  Betty, I love you, but we kind of get the point: You do things that most old women wouldn’t for a laugh.  We’re past that now.  Let’s move on.

Oh, and my vote for America’s next wacky grandmother?

You’d better watch it, because if this show gets canceled again, I’ll track you down and jam you into a suicide booth.

*not a guarantee.  okay, well…kinda.