Critical End!

UPDATE: There’s also a Japanese version!

As a child of the 80′s, I have very distinct memories of commercials like this one for Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear.  Take a look…

I am literally buried under a mountain of sense memory right now.  Which is all the more impressive, considering that this isn’t actually a vintage commercial, but a brand new bit of viral marketing for Toy Story 3.

Too much hugging, one presumes.

That is some impressive mimicry, Pixar.  More evidence that these guys are deeply committed to manipulating me emotionally.  WHY DID THAT SLUT HAVE TO ABANDON JESSIE FOR MAKEUP AND BOYS, DAMMIT?!!?!

Also, if you’re like me, you’re now looking for either this…

…or this…

I never noticed the jaunty key change in the Kid Sister section of the jingle. Girls are always showing off.

If it looks good on a messenger bag, Tim Burton will adapt it. REVIEWED: Alice in Wonderland (2010). PLUS: Journeys Shoes? Still exists.

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So…what if he’d kissed a regular frog?  REVIEWED: The Princess and the Frog.  PLUS: A bunch of Christmas Retro Picks including Jack Frost (not the Michael Keaton one) and a whole messa Muppets.

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Am I the only person excited about a Tron sequel?  Better question: Am I the only person who will pay to see a Tron sequel?  Disney released this teaser poster today which has made me even more excited.

Consider yourself teased.

Long nose = wackiness!

To get the obvious points out of the way:

My GOD. Do we really need another…

• version of A Christmas Carol?
• obnoxious Jim Carrey one-man-show?
• creepy 3D Zemeckis feature?
• Christmas movie that will be gone from theaters before Thanksgiving? (No really, look at the date on the poster.)

But ignoring all that, Disney is going to promote this thing by carting props and marketing around to 40 cities in a vintage train. At each stop they plan to unload a giant inflatable 3D theater and do sneak previews of the film. I hear about these train tours from time to time and I’m always left wondering, “Are there still trains? Are trains still a thing?”

Where, within these 40 cities, is this train going to stop? Is it like Harry Potter where you have to find the magical entrance to some hidden anachronistic train platform? Or is Disney building an entire rail system solely for the promotion of their poor man’s Grinch?

Either way, I look forward to similar stunts in the future. Perhaps a cross-country hot air balloon tour for Up, a Romanian caravan tour for the Pinocchio Blu-ray, or a sewer-traversing exercise ball tour for G-Force. Speaking of which, this is exquisite.

[Variety]