What were James Cameron’s true goals as he toiled away for ten years in his basement, developing the technology that would one day make us fall in love with Panthro and Cheetara’s love children? Sure, he wanted to make strides in CG and 3D immersion, but could he also have been plotting to create a movie that would be exciting enough…TO KILL?!
Probably not. But much like the foolish military that funded Skynet, Cameron has become complicit in the death of a (presumably) kindly old Taiwanese man who, doctors say, was so fucking blown away by the film that he had a brain hemorrhage and later died. Science hasn’t yet advanced far enough to provide a record of his final thoughts. But my guess is he died just as he was thinking “Wait, this is basically Dances with FernGully–ERK!”
Of course there was one thing FernGully had that Avatar was missing:
Hey, ladies...come a little closer and let me link my ponytail to your banshee.
I can’t quite explain why Avatar is still number one at the box office and is well on its way to breaking records. I also can’t explain why a lot of this is apparently due to repeat business. Do people really want to sit through that film twice? All 162 minutes of it? Sigh.
Whatever the case may be (Personally? I think that a lot of people are just plain dumb, but what do I know?), Cameron has announced a longer version of the film when it finally reaches DVD/Blu-Ray. I’m sure this makes a lot of you dateless losers very excited, but before you go pitching a tent in your pants, consider this great quote from Cameron in regards to the laughable sex scene that was merely hinted at in the theatrical version:
“We had it in and we cut it out. So that will be something for the special edition DVD, if you want to see how they have sex.”
Yes, that is a actual quote from Cameron…and he’s not kidding. I couldn’t make this crap up. CHUD has the full story, which goes into slightly more detail.
