When he’s not busy reinventing 3D technology, fixing oil spills, and rewriting the script to Ferngully, it seems that James Cameron is finding new ways to revive the endless Final Destination series. Case in point: Cameron has recommended his second unit director (who has been with him since The Abyss) to New Line Cinema as the director of the upcoming Final Destination 5.
Gee. Thanks, James.
While this news is a bit strange, I find it even weirder that they’re making a Final Destination 5. I can only assume that it’s going to be a retelling of Disney’s Pocahontas, with a strong green message at it’s roots. Zing!
via CHUD
It doesn’t surprise me that James Cameron and FOX are releasing Avatar on DVD and Blu-Ray on Earth Day. Despite the fact that Cameron’s past explosion-filled films most likely accounted for more carbon emissions over the last few decades than Al Gore’s house in one summer, Cameron obviously realizes that there’s money to be made in this whole green movement. Nevermind that the DVD and Blu-Ray are both bare bones, I must support Mother Earth by buying James Cameron’s Avatar on Earth Day! That will show those evil Republicans!
As for the rest of us: Cameron himself is already talking up two, yes, freakin’ TWO, other editions that are going to come out later this year if you think you can wait that long to support this amazing grassroots movement…oh, and Cameron’s bank account. Because let’s face it: That new back deck overlooking the slums isn’t going to build itself now, is it?
Avatar hits DVD/Blu-Ray on April 22nd…which is also Earth Day…hippie.
What were James Cameron’s true goals as he toiled away for ten years in his basement, developing the technology that would one day make us fall in love with Panthro and Cheetara’s love children? Sure, he wanted to make strides in CG and 3D immersion, but could he also have been plotting to create a movie that would be exciting enough…TO KILL?!
Probably not. But much like the foolish military that funded Skynet, Cameron has become complicit in the death of a (presumably) kindly old Taiwanese man who, doctors say, was so fucking blown away by the film that he had a brain hemorrhage and later died. Science hasn’t yet advanced far enough to provide a record of his final thoughts. But my guess is he died just as he was thinking “Wait, this is basically Dances with FernGully–ERK!”
Of course there was one thing FernGully had that Avatar was missing:
Hey, ladies...come a little closer and let me link my ponytail to your banshee.
I can’t quite explain why Avatar is still number one at the box office and is well on its way to breaking records. I also can’t explain why a lot of this is apparently due to repeat business. Do people really want to sit through that film twice? All 162 minutes of it? Sigh.
Whatever the case may be (Personally? I think that a lot of people are just plain dumb, but what do I know?), Cameron has announced a longer version of the film when it finally reaches DVD/Blu-Ray. I’m sure this makes a lot of you dateless losers very excited, but before you go pitching a tent in your pants, consider this great quote from Cameron in regards to the laughable sex scene that was merely hinted at in the theatrical version:
“We had it in and we cut it out. So that will be something for the special edition DVD, if you want to see how they have sex.”
Yes, that is a actual quote from Cameron…and he’s not kidding. I couldn’t make this crap up. CHUD has the full story, which goes into slightly more detail.
You are now free to pitch that tent…perv.
Wash day tomorrow? Nothing clean, right? REVIEWED: The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Terminator Salvation.
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